Here's another hilarious piece by Socknose.
A Counter-Strike Romance
Bob crouched into the corner of the garage hoping that the darkness could envelope him and shield him from the world around him. A dark figure holding a gun kept jumping up and down and hitting the light switch while another strange man similarly armed and dressed was sitting on top of what looked like a range rover aiming his gun up the stairs where there was a shaft letting in searing heat. His boyfriend Barney had worked at his research department, black mesa. They had been dating for five years.
But when Bob took a vacation he was later told that there had been an accident and Barney had been killed. Had a police officer not stopped him he would have slit his wrists on the spot. To relive himself of the pain he dedicated himself to his work 100% till the day eight men covered from head to toe in white and black stormed his working place shouting,
"GO GO GO!"
And jumping around like idiots took him and three colleague's hostage. Bob was not afraid he welcomed the distraction
And here they were in the middle of what Bob thought was a desert. Bob and his nervous ally were in the Garage while two more were out by what looked like the bar.
Another one of Bob's captors walked in. This one was different; Bob inspected him more closely. He wasn't wearing a mask! He was wearing a dark green shirt, yellow trousers and some sunglasses, which hid his eyes. Bob looked at him and he looked at Bob.
"Follow me"
He said in a static voice. The man showed him around the house took him to the bar where an armed man was hiding, showed him the bathroom where he amused him very much by blowing up a floating turd in the toilet with his hand gun and the roof where he showed the surrounding area. And Bob had been right it was a desert. Strangely there were boxes in the most unusual places. All this time Bob's heart was beating like mad. Was he feeling something he promised he would never feel again after the death of Barney? The man took him to the bedroom where the window had been shot and someone obviously had climbed through and made a hell of a mess.
All around the house a moaning could be heard and crys of
"IM GOING IN!"
"NEED BACKUP"
And
"COVER ME!"
Then suddenly there was a large explosion, a blinding flash of light and a large amount of smoke. Cries of
"ENEMY SPOTED"
And
"GO, GO, GO!"
Bob was terrified as the man swiftly took him down to the garage again than ran out to the bar.
Once again he was scared he had already lost one of those he loved would he loose another. He sat there in the darkness amid the sounds of gunfire for what seemed like hours but was mere minutes. Then all of a sudden the vent at the top of the stairs burst open and a man dressed entirely in black and wearing a gas mask emerged. He told them to follow him and they did so. Bob didn't want to but it seemed an invisible force was driving him. The man dressed in black (who Bob had deduced to be a police officer of some kind) tried to take them through the vent but for some reason
Bob couldn't crouch to get down there. Obviously frustrated the officer took them through the door where a sight of extreme death met his eyes. The bodies of all of his captors lay dead on the floor. Some were on a piece of furniture of some kind and some were lying half way through the walls. None of this took away the shock factor Bob felt but he couldn't stop to grieve as he was compelled to run forward. He was led outside into the desert. The officer led him across the wasteland when he heard someone shout out
"GO GO GO"
It was the man! Several men in black then appeared and opened fire on the man and he fired off a few shots with his shining silver handgun but he fell under the hail of bullets. Bob fell to the floor screaming as the men in black jumped around aimlessly.
He passed out, had he not he would have heard a voice from nowhere declare
"COUNTER TERROISTS WIN"
Socknose
|
|
|
|
